Alone and Alive
Well its been a month today since Ive seen Amy the Russian Spy. Its hard to believe its been that long. Im lying here in be with one of those cases of insomnia I get everyonce and a while. I guess Ive developed a likeing for her. It doesnt make sense , this goes againts my hitman code. I dont get attached to people. If I didnt know any better I would say I miss her. Wow. What a concept.
Note to self, shoot yourself in the foot for being a pussy.
It would seem that Im falling apart and its driving me nuts. Like the other day for instance I was putting a qoute in on a contract and the client wanted his wife and their cat gone. Well Normally my rule is no children, but a cat? It isnt even a real thing. What does it do except sit around looking like the most evil creature imaginable, eating tuna and scrathing things. Well jesus, I couldnt do It . I could shoot the woman in the face and not lose a minutes sleep but the thought of trying to wack a cat bothered me so much I had to leave the office and come home and pop a valumn. Man Im becoming a woman.
Well If that wasnt the worst part of my day than meeting up with my old best friend was. Andy and I were inseperable back in college and we did everything together. Then after first year he quit and went off to work on some boat in spain and I stayed back and finished off my degree. Yes thats right I have a degree, just becasue Im a contract killer doesnt mean that I might want to do something else down the road. The guys in my support group make fun of me saying things like "Professor death" and "man that degree musta KILLED you" I laugh if it off but Im proud of my degree in woman studies. (It turned out that it was the only thing I was able to graduate with with out taking another year) hey its an education , right? . I tell everybody that its a BA in Criminolgy cuz it sounds better but its in Womens studies. So what. I fucking Kill people.....IM NOT GAY.
I didnt always have the desire to be a hitman. It wasnt until after graduation that I took a job at a local bar as a bartender that turned out to be a front for money laundering scheme did I get in to hitmaning.
Oh yeah back to Andy well Im at the cafe this morning for my usual tripple esspresso and to read the newspaper. Its part of my morning habit that allows me to set my day in MY way. Im sitteing there reading some story about how this wacko killed a bunch oh kids in an Omish school when I here. it (my name) Well Im not gonna say it.
And there was Andy , standing there looking just like he used to in a Phish t shirt and hippy clothes. Talked for about 5 mins cuz he was in a hurry and he took my number before he left. I gave it to him just becuase I felt like a shithead thinking about him calling a wrong number, besides I didnt expect him to actually call.
Well it was about suppertime when the phone rang. Normally I just screne my call but I wasstanding right by the phone at the time and picked it up. Ansy was in twon another night and was coming over.
Goddamn it , my new pussy ass maker drug cant get me to say no. I want to stopt them by my shrink thinks Im making real progress. I just want to come clean and tell him what I really do and that Im not an internation wine tasting correspondent. But then I might have to take him out.
Oh yeah Andy. Well the guy shows up the the cheapest bottle of wine in the store. I know wine well because I have to keep up this fake MO. Well we talked and talked, mostly about past university days and about women, sex and once he got alittle drunk about killing cats. This is when I found out that Andy loves the taste of felines. He tells me he wants to tell me a secreat and goes into this long drunken confession for the reason he went and joined the shipping company was so that he could travel to places where he could do things that you cant here, like drink in the streats, date transvesties and eat food that you can eat here. He goes on and on about how when he is in Singapore he will eat cat almsot very day and that when he leaves he will catch them and take them back to the boat and eat them. He has almost been caught a couple of times.
Christ a cat... is there even any meat on a cat? And how does one cook a cat. MY mind was racing and then i was reminded about the contract I turned down today.
Man what a pussy Ive become.
Note to self, shoot yourself in the foot for being a pussy.
It would seem that Im falling apart and its driving me nuts. Like the other day for instance I was putting a qoute in on a contract and the client wanted his wife and their cat gone. Well Normally my rule is no children, but a cat? It isnt even a real thing. What does it do except sit around looking like the most evil creature imaginable, eating tuna and scrathing things. Well jesus, I couldnt do It . I could shoot the woman in the face and not lose a minutes sleep but the thought of trying to wack a cat bothered me so much I had to leave the office and come home and pop a valumn. Man Im becoming a woman.
Well If that wasnt the worst part of my day than meeting up with my old best friend was. Andy and I were inseperable back in college and we did everything together. Then after first year he quit and went off to work on some boat in spain and I stayed back and finished off my degree. Yes thats right I have a degree, just becasue Im a contract killer doesnt mean that I might want to do something else down the road. The guys in my support group make fun of me saying things like "Professor death" and "man that degree musta KILLED you" I laugh if it off but Im proud of my degree in woman studies. (It turned out that it was the only thing I was able to graduate with with out taking another year) hey its an education , right? . I tell everybody that its a BA in Criminolgy cuz it sounds better but its in Womens studies. So what. I fucking Kill people.....IM NOT GAY.
I didnt always have the desire to be a hitman. It wasnt until after graduation that I took a job at a local bar as a bartender that turned out to be a front for money laundering scheme did I get in to hitmaning.
Oh yeah back to Andy well Im at the cafe this morning for my usual tripple esspresso and to read the newspaper. Its part of my morning habit that allows me to set my day in MY way. Im sitteing there reading some story about how this wacko killed a bunch oh kids in an Omish school when I here. it (my name) Well Im not gonna say it.
And there was Andy , standing there looking just like he used to in a Phish t shirt and hippy clothes. Talked for about 5 mins cuz he was in a hurry and he took my number before he left. I gave it to him just becuase I felt like a shithead thinking about him calling a wrong number, besides I didnt expect him to actually call.
Well it was about suppertime when the phone rang. Normally I just screne my call but I wasstanding right by the phone at the time and picked it up. Ansy was in twon another night and was coming over.
Goddamn it , my new pussy ass maker drug cant get me to say no. I want to stopt them by my shrink thinks Im making real progress. I just want to come clean and tell him what I really do and that Im not an internation wine tasting correspondent. But then I might have to take him out.
Oh yeah Andy. Well the guy shows up the the cheapest bottle of wine in the store. I know wine well because I have to keep up this fake MO. Well we talked and talked, mostly about past university days and about women, sex and once he got alittle drunk about killing cats. This is when I found out that Andy loves the taste of felines. He tells me he wants to tell me a secreat and goes into this long drunken confession for the reason he went and joined the shipping company was so that he could travel to places where he could do things that you cant here, like drink in the streats, date transvesties and eat food that you can eat here. He goes on and on about how when he is in Singapore he will eat cat almsot very day and that when he leaves he will catch them and take them back to the boat and eat them. He has almost been caught a couple of times.
Christ a cat... is there even any meat on a cat? And how does one cook a cat. MY mind was racing and then i was reminded about the contract I turned down today.
Man what a pussy Ive become.
posted by Slowglue at 8:29 PM
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